life has to restart
by nadine belikov
Summary: what if Dimitri wasnt turned and after the attacks realises the best thing he could do for Rose was to leave her and take Tasha's offer? yeah im pretty rubbish at summaries XD
1. Chapter 1

Hey all... I hope you enjoy this :D

at the moment it is in Dimitri's POV but from this next chapter it will be from Rose's but it all depends on you guys!

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Here I am yet again its 3pm and I cant get to sleep. All the thoughts of the past few months keep running through my head. The night we found the Princess and rose, my first training session with rose, are first kiss, the lust charm, the shopping trip, Spokane , seeing her that broken all most killed me, the cabin. Oh god the cabin. Could it of only been 3 nights ago. The Striogi attack on the school and the rescues mission where I was nearly taken by them. The only thing that stop me was Roza screaming my name. I knew then I could never hear her scream like that again. So now here I am thinking about that and the offer Tasha gave me not so long ago. How could I let Roza feel this deeply for me. I know I feel just as worse. Roza is completely under my skin to the point where she is apart from my soul and my life. But could I really do this to her. Yes I know we talked about what we could do after graduation. Even that wouldn't be enough even if I become Christian's guardian, he will be with the Princess 24/7 which means so would me and Roza which also means if a Strigoi attacks them I will still put Roza before them. That's what finally made my mind up. The saying it is better to have loved and to lost then to never love at all comes to mind. I'm going to speak to Tasha and see if she still wants me as her guardian which I know she will.

_Beep....Beep.....Beep_

I rolled over groggily and looked at the time, grrr is 6pm I've only slept 2 hours if that and now I had to do something I truly wasn't looking forward too. I quickly got a shower to wash away the guilt that had been there since I made my mind up. I got dressed and sat at the end of my bed with my head in my hands trying to forget the reasons or the reason of what im about to do. I picked up the phone and press number 4. I had Tasha on speed dial since she was always a good friend to me and now I was giving her what she's wanted for along time, for me to be more then a friend. She picked up after two rings.

" Dimka!"

"Hey Tasha." Why does this women have to so excited when I phone her? Oh yeah in the famous words of Rosemary Hathaway, 'she's into me'

"What do I owe this pleasure?" oh yeah she's going to enjoy what im about to ask.

"Well I was just phoning to see if that offer is still open?" I heard a slight gasp I don't know if it was me or her

"Yes it is Dimka, it will always be open for you." great just what I wanted to hear.

"OK, I would like to take your offer, ifs that OK?"

"Of course it is, when can you get here?"

"well I need to go and speak with the headmistress and I'll be on the next flight."

"Great just phone me and let me know when the plane is due to land and I'll come and pick you up."

"OK Tasha. I'll speak to you later."

"Bye Dimka."

I slammed my phone shut and threw it at the wall.

I walked straight into Kirova office without even knocking.

"What the need in this Guardian Belikov?" She all but shouted at me making me flinch.

"I'm quitting and I'm leaving within the next 30 minutes so if you don't mind just sign the papers so I can go!" It must of shown in my face just how much I needed to get out of here before I broken down because I notice Kirova took a step back and her jaw looked like it was hitting the floor and the guardians in the room flinch due to the power in my voice.

"May I ask why you need to go right now and who are you planning on guarding?"

"I just need a change of scenery and I'll be guarding Miss Ozera. Now can I just have the papers please my plane leaves within 2 hours."

"OK Guardian Belikov. Its going to be a shame to see you go." she barely whispered as she signed this but the look in her eyes told me she knew the real reason why I was going and frankly I didn't want to ask her about it.

I took the papers, thanked her and ran to my rooms to collect my bag I packed last night. I walked down to the gates and got the keys to the schools Audi A4, Kirova said I could use to get to the airport, out of my pocket. Before I got into the car, I phoned Tasha to let her know what time my plane lands and took one last look at the building I was leaving my soulmate behind in. I prayed to god she wouldn't hate me for this and understood why I did it. As I got into the car and put the keys in, I felt a tear fall from my eyes. This was crunch time but I just started the car and drove off, thinking this is the best I could do for my Roza and the saying 'Its better to have loved and to lost then to have never loved at all' kept running though my head.

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this is my 2nd Fanfic for VA :D

I dont know if im going to continue this or not it depends on the reviews! so press the little green button down there now!!

and i must admit this whole story is dedicated to an amazing person _AlexRozaBelikov_ who actually had the idea for this story

and hopefully will be either majorly annoyed with me or jumping up and down about this... i hope its the latter =S


	2. Chapter 2

Hey all :D yep the second chapter is up WHOOP!

just want to thank everyone for the reviews i really loved them soo THANK YOUUUUUUUUU XD

and a very special thank you to Alex because really this was one of her ideas which i nicked and did

the 1st chapter with butttt she loved it so i carried on with her blessing. so a massive thank you to you chick!

anyways before I let you read the next chapter, I just thought ill let you all know... GET your selfs onto

and look me up :D the pen name is the same aswel so it wont be that hard! and my story is called night hunter.

so go and read and review please! and OH im in the middle of writing the 3rd chapter for this so hopefully you lucky guys might get 2 chapters in one day

aint i just the nicest person ever!!!

right im gonna shut up now :D ENJOY!!!

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I've just got back from Lissa interrogation over the whole rescue mission since I was in the clinic the past two days, mainly over my own injuries and because Dimitri was aswel. I quickly undressed and turned the shower on. I stepped inside once the bathroom was filled with steam and I let the hot water wash away all the tension from the past few days. So much as happen. I'd lost my virginity to the man I couldn't live without, sorted out a plan so we could be together after my graduation and then the Strigoi attack. Ah the rescue mission which I'm so glad is over because I nearly lost Dimitri. Within that moment the blonde Strigoi had Dimitri pinned down to the floor was my darkest hour in my life. My mum was dragging me back tried to clam me down but no-one knew what was between me and Dimitri. So all I could do was scream his name until I couldn't see him no more. Once my mum got me to the safety that was behind the wards she sat me down. I quickly pulled my knees up, rested my head and started to rock with the sobs that were coming out of me. Then I heard a gasp from a few people and snapped my head up just in time to see Dimitri stagger from the cave. People ran over to him to help him back to the academy but all I could do was stare at him. They put him on a stretcher and took him straight to the clinic.

I snapped out of my daydream, wash and rinsed my hair, grabbed a towel and went into my room. Great I've been in the shower for an hour. I dragged myself over to my dresser to grab some sweat pants and a t-shirt and threw them on. Once I got into bed, I snuggled under my cover and curled up into a ball and the next thing I knew I was asleep. My dream started off normal to me, well I was replaying the cabin but the next thing it went all black. My mind was racing until I found myself at the beach _again_! I looked down to notice I was wearing a midnight blue bikini top and denim hot pants.

"Adrian you better show your self and explain why you ruined my perfect dream?"

"Can't I check in on my little Dhampir when I ain't seen her in 2 days and Rose that 'prefect' dream you were talking about.. I think you know it inside out since you day dream about it aswel."

god the vemon and the sarcasm from Adrian shocked me but to be fair I shouldn't expect anything less He's in love with me and I felt sorry I couldn't return it. So yeah and since he can dream walk also means he can see what your dreaming about. So after seeing me relive the moments in the cabin before entering my dream I would be the same if the tables were turned.

I just looked up at him and raised an eyebrow. WOW I can do that in dream world but not for real. PFT so not impressed by that!

"I'm sorry little dhampir I shouldn't really invade your privacy like that. I'm sorry."

WOW! I was actually stunned to silence.

"Erm that's OK Adrian. So what do your want?"

Adrian came towards me and that's the first time I noticed what he was wearing. Dark jeans and a midnight blue button down shirt which he had open. Wow his body. OK so shouldn't be thinking of his body like that but man he had washboard abs, a slight V and his arms where toned and defined. I couldn't stop staring which I think Adrian noticed because he was actually looking at me staring at him with a smile playing on his lips. Just great he noticed I was noticing which I didn't want him to noticed that I found his body hot and now he knows I've notice. STOP!!! I instantly shook myself mentally and wiped the gooey look that was on my face.

" I just wanted to make sure were OK but by the looks of it you probably knocked your head because you ain't been able to drag your eyes away from me." OK he defo noticed that I noticed now for the recovery...

" Well what do you expect. I didn't expect your body to be pretty hot." .GOD that was not the recovery I wanted. Stupid brain. Speaking before I could think of a witty come back. Stupid stupid Adrian and his hot body. Adrian was laughing now and I didn't even notice him sitting next to me. Just chuffing great!

"Yep you did hit your head, didn't you?"

"No I never. Just never noticed your body until now." I smiled innocently at him.

"OK." Adrian was shaking his head at me.

The world around me was starting to fade.

"I'll see you later Rose, your waking up." with that he kissed me on my forehead and then the dream faded completely to an annoying Beep..Beep...Beep. Great it was time to get up.

I rolled over to look at the time. 18:40. GREAT I had 20 minutes to get dress and get to my training session with Dimitri. I ran into the bathroom, had a quick wash, pulled my hair into a high ponytail and threw on a pair of grey sweat pants and a black tank top. I looked in the mirror. Great just chuffing great I had bags under my eyes. I quickly put some concealer on and foundation and grab my bag then ran down to the gym. As I opened the gym doors I noticed someone sitting on the bench. I tossed my bag on the floor and walked over. It was Alberta sitting there just starring at me as I walked towards her.

"What you doing here?" Yes I snapped at her but come on I was expecting Dimitri to be lying down on the mats reading his stupid westerns novels and I end up with Alberta.

"Sit down please Rose. I need to tell you something."

With that I sat down infront of her straddling the bench just like she was. She was just looking at me like she was trying to figure out the best way of saying something. I knew it was probably about Dimitri but like I told him he should of stayed in the clinic for longer. He's probably asked Alberta to cover his practise sessions with me until he's well enough.

"OK spit it out then."

"Dimitri has left." I just starred at her opened mouthed but Alberta stayed professional through out telling me but her eyes were filled with sadness.

"wh- what do y-you mean, he's left?" I couldn't get my words out I was completely shocked!

"He left this morning in quiet a hurry. He's gone and took Miss Ozera offer Rose. I'm sorry but if you wish. I'm willing to continue your practise sessions with you. Its only a few weeks till graduation so its up to you Rose."

"OH, OK." And with that I left Alberta sitting there staring at me with the sadness still reflecting in her eyes. Before I got to the gym doors,

"Rose I'm truly sorry. I knew there was something between you and Guardian Belikov and with him leaving like this and the way you just reacted proves it to me. I -"

I didn't stay long enough to hear what Alberta had to say. The tears had already spilt over my eyes and I just had to get away and run. I ran straight to my room and flopped onto my bed crying. How could he just take off like that and not even explain why or not even with a goodbye. I just sat there with my knees pulled up to my chest just replaying everything through my head. Every touch, every kiss, every bit of emotion he shown me and for him to just take off like this made me think he was just lying to me. How could he do this to me. How could I let him get under my skin like this when I knew deep down something like this might happen. He was seven years older then me. What would he want with a teenager who had no self control over anything and lashed out at any comment she didn't like. I was too immature for him. I should of realised this.

There was a slight knock on the door. I just left the person standing there knocking. I didn't want to see anyone right now.

"Rose. Come on let me in. I know something is wrong. NOW LET ME IN!"


	3. Chapter 3

Hey again! aint i nice to you lot :D TWO chapters in one day!! well thats because im working the

next two days so i wont have time to attack my laptop :( SAD times people really SAD times!

Anyways I know in the story at the moment its all doom and gloom but it wont be for long ;D

that part will be over soon for a while anyways!

you all know what to do. if you want **more of this please REVIEW** at the end pleaseee that green button is calling youuuu.

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I got up and open the door only to have a very upset Lissa bust in and stand there with her toe tapping at me.

"what's up with you." I walked back to my bed not wanting to answer her question.

"Rose what is up! For the first time ever I felt your feeling though the bond. So its something pretty big for that to happen."

Great just great. The bond finally went two ways.

"nothing big honest Lissa." she looked at me with her eyes narrowing at me. Man im so pissed of with her right now because she worked out the bond and she knows what im feeling so she knows that im ling. Just great!

" I know your ling Rose. I can feel it in the bond now. So spill it!"

"OK OK. Sit down because you might fall down by what im about to tell you."

with that she sat down. With a smile on her face that only lasted a second before she felt my feeling.

"This isn't going to be good is it Rose. I can feel your despair and your annoyance."

"Nope this ain't going to be good. So I'll just tell you from the start."

With that I told her everything about me and Dimitri and about him leaving.

"You lost your virginity to him?" Great the only Question she could asked and it had to be the biggest one. No telling me off because Dimitri was going to be her guardian aswel. She wasn't even annoyed that much that I didn't tell her but since she lost hers before I did. She just had to know.

"Yes I did." I was looking down now trying to hide the tears that where about to spill over. "It was just before the Strigoi attack, In the cabin. The next thing I felt was Lissa's arms going around me and pulling me into a hug.

"You truly loved him didn't you." It wasn't a question it was a statement since she could feel it though the bond. I'm soo going to have to learn how to block her out!

"Well what do you think? You can feel what I'm feeling now!" The tears were pouring down my face by now and I just couldn't stop them.

Lissa just sat there holding me while I let out every tear that came but just another though of him set off another sob which turn into yeah another ragging session of tears. Lissa never left me and it felt like hours that we were there. I pulled myself away from her and seen the state Lissa's shirt was.

"I'm sorry Lissa."

"There's nothing to apologies for Rose but I'm sorry for not being there for you when you needed me." Lissa looked away from me and I could feel her guilt.

"Stop feeling Guilty over it please Lissa. I didn't tell you because if it got out it would of wreaked everything and living like that nearly ripped me apart and now he's gone to be HER guardian I just don't know how im going to cope." That start yet another round of quiet sobs and my eyes being less stubborn and letting the tears fall over.

"You will cope! I will help you throw this and so will everyone else. _HE_ wouldn't want you like this and I don't want you like this. This doesn't feel right." she let out a small laugh and wiped away my tears. Then she held my face in her hands and stared at me right in the eye. " This is mainly the other way round. Your the one to hold me up when im down even though you know I'll do this whenever you need me too but you need to get back out there and be the Rosemarie Hathaway everyone knows and love."

I sat up straight while swallowing the last of my Sobs. "Of course your right Lissa. This so isn't me. Letting a man reduce me to this. I'm going get in the shower and show my face. Its lunch time right?" I said from over my shoulder as I entered my bathroom.

"Erm, No Rose its actually Dinner time already." She was biting her lip and she was wondering if this would set me off again. So I quickly changed what I was going to say. I needed to cheer her up somehow. I couldn't let her be like this with me forever. It will do my head in.

"God you let me cry over some stupid bloke for that long. How very dare you Miss Dragomir." I tried to sound amused and plastered a fake shocked look on my face and it seemed to work because she let out a small giggle and ushered me into my bathroom. I got a quick shower and chucked on some skinny jeans and a low cut, skin tight shirt. Well I am trying my best to be myself and hiding what I was feeling to everyone else, this felt like the only way I can do it. I went abit over the top with the make-up which I never do but I felt like it. I rushed with drying my hair and put it up into a scruffy bun and curled the strands of hair that fell out of it.

"Right I'm ready to face the world. Lets go."

Lissa linked arms with me and walked down to dinner with me. The one thing im truly grateful of her right now is she's keeping my mind of him with filling me in with the latest gossip that I've missed out the past few days. I ain't really missed much. Lissa and Adrian are still practising spirit. Lissa is still with Christian and Eddie is still hanging around. So my group of friends are still friends which means everything else didn't matter to me. We walked in and the room went quiet for a few seconds but I just kept my head up and went and got my dinner. Once the noise of the room started up again I walked over to where Christian and Eddie were sitting. Christian just wouldn't look me in the eye. Great he already knew Dimitri had ran off to Tasha. Just thinking of his name made me flinch and instantly Lissa rubbed my arm in support. Great I forgot now she can feel my emotions. I'm so not liking this at the moment but I cant wait for the day, if it ever happens, that I drag her into my head when its getting hot between me and some bloke. I flinch again. Great even my subconscious didn't like the idea of me being with anyone else.

I sat next to Eddie who gave me a warm smile which I return and I looked at Christian.

"Lissa what have you done to him." I pointed towards Christian " He looks like a child who's learnt father Christmas ain't real."

"I'm sorry Rose." I was shocked I weren't expecting that let alone from Christian aswel.

"What for?"

"My auntie offering Guardian Belikov, I didn't think she would ask him again since he turned her down last time."

"Its OK Christian why would it bother me?" I didn't mean it as a question but he was just about to answer when an "ow" came out of his mouth and he looked towards Lissa. Lissa just smiled sweetly at him then looked at me. I mouthed her a thank you which she just winked at. Next thing I felt someone put their hands across my eyes and I could smell the Clover cigarettes from behind me.

"Get your hands off me Adrian before I make you regret even knowing me!"

"Abit touchy today abit we little dhampir."

"Just a touch." I turned my head to look at him and I was taken back. I had to blink a few times to believe what I was seeing. Was Adrian really this hot all along or is it the first time that I really took notice of his jade green eyes, strong jawline and straight nose. I mentally shook myself, which I think he noticed me starring at him and Lissa kicked me under the table. Jeez did she really feel what I was feeling then even I didn't know what I it was I was feeling.

"Want to come for a walk with me?"

What was he playing at? Oh well I might aswel go with him and find out. "might aswel ah? Because I know you wouldn't take no for an answer and I don't think my whole class want to see a royal beg for a dhampir company now, do we?"

I got up and grab his hand before he could even answer and I think my actions stunned him into silence and he just followed me.

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seee that little green button please take 2secs to

review for me because reviews make me happy and making

me happy makes me type :D


	4. Chapter 4

Hey all :D Just thought ill share the Rose and Dimitri love ( yeah i need to grow up at times)

and give you all another chapter a day early :D aint i just nice as pie hehe

well ill say my sorries now :( its only a short chapter but im promise the next one is a long one.

sooo Enjoy! and DONT FORGET TO REVIEW please! :D

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Once we were outside, Adrian pulled his hand away from me and just stared.

"Rose I know what's happen."

OK I was shocked in away but this was Adrian he knew every bit of gossip here. I swear he's like an old women who sits there with a glass tumbler against the wall so they can hear every word from the argument next door. "What do you mean?" I tired playing innocent but obviously it didn't work because Adrian ran a hand through his hair and let a sigh.

"Rose I know he's left. I know he's gone to guard Christians Aunt."

"OH." Was all I could get out before Adrian pulled me into a hug.

"I'm so sorry Rose. He's just as thick as his head for letting you go that easily."

"It's OK Adrian, Really. I didn't expect nothing to come from it and I knew deep down it wouldn't last. Looks like he was the bigger one for distancing himself from me, when I couldn't."

Adrian didn't say nothing just stood here with me in his arms, stroking my hair. I started to feel weird the only other person I've ever been this close with was Dimitri and It didn't feel right letting Adrian do this. Yeah Dimitri might of left with out a warning or even saying goodbye but as hard as I try to 'move on' from this I cant and for gods sake it ain't even been 24 hours yet since he left! So give myself chance ah, but I couldn't. I needed to move on fast so I could hide my feeling from everyone, even Lissa. Even though she knows the truth now and didn't start on me over it, I could show her how much he actually got under my skin, correction! How my soul belong to him. How could she compare her and Christian to this! OK I didn't know how fare her love for him ran but I only feel her feeling not how deep they are, apart from when she's getting 'hot' with him and pulls me into her head because of the intensity of her feeling, I don't think anyone will understand that I would give up everything for him and im only 18!

Just so I could try and move on, I know this is low but this was the only way I could think of right now. Adrian has been there and loved me since day one and yeah I'm starting to like him more then a friend but noone could take Dimitri's place but I could try. I tilted my head back and looked straight into Adrian's eyes and all I could see was love and sadness. I grab the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards me. As soon as are lips met I did feel something but it was tiny compare to Dimitri. Adrian pulled away and he couldn't mask the shock that was plastered all over his face. His mouth and party slight and his eyes had gone wide.

"Rose what was that about?" He sounded breathless. Did I really do that to him. This could be fun!

"OK next time I'll ask before I kiss you." I falsely but my man eaters smile on, knowing Adrian couldn't resist it.

"Why though Rose. I know you wouldn't of moved on this quickly. God Rose it hasn't even been 24hours after he left and you jumping on the first guy who shows you affection. What if that was Christian or Eddie? I know full well you wouldn't of jumped on them like that. Just because I love you Rose, don't_ use it against me or as a rebound_!" He hissed the last words at me before walking away.

Great I forgot how much Adrian actually knows me and knows how much I love Dimitri. So I didn't say anything and let him walk away. Great there's the great distraction plan gone out of the window!

I need to do something but it was hitting curfew now. OK I had maybe an hour to go but the only thing that gets my mind straight and completely tired that I collapse straight into bed was either running or practise or both. Without a seconds thought, I ran straight into my room and put on my gyms clothes and ran back to the gym. Maybe hitting a few punching bags and dummies will do.

I walked into the gym and hooked up my Ipod to the sound system and pressed play. Wow just what I needed some Disturbed! The anger over Dimitri leaving me, spilling everything out to Lissa and Adrian rejecting me, this was just what I needed. Metal music and a punch bag. As I continued to punch and kick the bag I forgotten how long I've been here and frankly I didn't care. My favourite song of all time came on, Crossfade-cold. As the lyrics sink into me I realised that this song was for my own life where I couldn't let no one in, Apart from Lissa but I seriously let Dimitri in and it hit me like a ton of bricks right now! This song I always thought it was written about my life. People coming and going and not even leaving a mark or a patch on my life. I thought I was cold just like the song says. I never let no one in not even Lissa until today and there was so many times I wanted someone I could let in, in my life and when I finally do they leave me. I couldn't listen to the song any more and took one last swing towards the punching bag before I all but ripped my Ipod away from the sound system and ran out.

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yeah if you get time check out Crossfade- cold lyrics.. this song is truly amazing!

Dont forget! hehe review pleaseeeeeeeee


	5. Chapter 5

Hey all =D

just as i promised a very long chapter just for you :D

I just want to thank everyone for there reviews and also want to thank _alexrosabelikov_ for letting

nick her idea and as you all know this is dedicated to her :D

and soo just you all know aswel, i dont have beta so y'all be nice!

RxR PLEASE :D Dimitri would want you too.

**oooh Disclaimer! **

I dont own any of the Characters the amazing Richelle Mead does well apart from

Guardian Jones who enters in this chapter. :D

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The next week I feel into a routine. I got up showered when to practise with Alberta, lessons, lunch with the gang, more lessons, dinner with the gang, practise with Alberta then joined the gang in the library before curfew and then cry myself to sleep. I still haven't heard from Dimitri and its been a week! And Adrian was keeping his distance from me to the fact Lissa, Eddie and even Christian notice.

"What went on between you and Adrian Rose?"

"_Nothing_ Lissa. Nothing happen!" She's been asking me the same question everyday and I always answered the same.

"Well something did! He's acting really distance to you Rose, which I thought was impossible for him. Every time you rejected him he always bounced back but this time he ain't. So I know something has gone on and Rosemarie I will find out!"

That was a threat. I could see it in her eyes and I could feel it through the bond. Great. Just because they are royal and really close since they are the only spirit users they each know. They spend a lot of time together aswel. So Lissa sees him more then me and for her to carry on with the questions really made me thing what he was acting like infront of her and to top it off, Adrian ain't visited my dreams since he rejected me which I think was a totally shocker for both of us. Well for me it was because he _rejected me_! And for him I think it was because I kissed him. I still cant get over the fact he thought I kissed him so I could use him as a rebound. I wasn't going too, I was only going to use him to distract myself and appear normal in some ways to my friends and the other students.

I came out of my thoughts and looked at the time. "SHIT, I better go or otherwise I'm going to be late for practise." I got up and ran out before I gave anyone chance to speak.

I arrived at the gym just in time. I walked in trying not to look like I've ran across the academy and I stop and looked at this bloke sitting there on a chair with his feet rest on the bench, with an Ipod in his ears and his feet was tapping away to the music. I gave him the once over. His was light brown and he had it spiked which was seriously unknown for a guardian, so I got rid of that idea quickly, his body was well tone and his muscles were diffidently defined, well his t-shirt was tight so you can actually see the muscles really well which made my mouth water. He was wearing a white t-shirt and grey jogging bottom. Yeah OK this guy was seriously hot.

I walked over and dumped my bag next to where his feet were and notice he was listening to my Ipod. God this lad was seriously going to have his arse handed to him. Before I even noticed what I was doing, I grab the headphones out of his ears and took my Ipod of him. I must of left it here this morning. I just looked at his shocked face and a small smile played on my lips. He was more gorgeous then I first thought. He had an amazing strong jawline, he had the most cutest button nose but you could tell it had been broken and his eyes were such a dark brown I felt like I was getting lost in them.

"So, who are you and what gives you the right to listen to my Ipod?" Yeah, I thought I better let new boy know I actually have an attitude problem but I notice he was checking me out. Nothing new there.

"Can you put your eyes back into your head and answer my question?" I was standing there with my hand on my hip. The lad just smile at me.

"Hathaway go and get changed or otherwise we wont get the full 2hours in if you keep asking questions!" That stunned me! How did he know my name and to top it of he was Irish. OH. MY. GOD. It took me 2 seconds to click on he's an guardian. I knew Alberta said that she wouldn't be doing my training sessions for long but a week and giving me this. This was pure torture!.

"I'll think I want to ask questions to be honest." I put on my man eater smile on and he just sighed at me.

"Come on Hathaway go and get changed and we will talk while we do 12 laps of the track. OK?"

"Fine!" I quickly went to my locker and I thank god that my grey joggers were in there and my blue crop top. I'll give him something to stare at. I put my hair up into a scruffy bun and went back out to the gym.

"So what's your name, Irish?" His eyes basically pop out of his head and he stood up. God he was at lest hitting 6ft4 and know looking straight on at him, he was pretty wide but you could tell its all muscle, even his abs were properly defined and only looked like he was in his early 20s if that. I felt like I was turning into a 13 year old again. I could feel the blush coming on to my cheeks but I quickly changed that and put my cold mask on.

"Conner Jones but to you Hathaway its Guardian Jones. OK?"

Wow I knew of him. He was the first novice in the world to get 5 marks before he graduated. I hide my shock with attitude as always. "OK Irish whatever you say." I just shook my head. Has the boy even read my files yet. "So we going to do these laps or are we going to stare at each?"

He just shook his head at me and started to walk towards me.

"Rosemarie I've read your file. We are more alike then you think but there's one thing. I know how to control myself better."

I was shocked again. God he was pretty good but I don't think we are alike. Please. We walked out onto the track and started running. Well we did have a lot in common. We loved the same type of music, we had the same personality, liked the same books (yes I do actually read!) and the same films. And he was only 19 aswel. We got back to the gym and found out I knocked off 2 minutes of my best time.

"Right Hathaway, I know you mainly do weight training now but I want to see how you fight."

A smile was playing on my lips aswel as his. Yeah I'll diffidently will be handing him his arse now. We walked over to the mat and got into position. We were staring at each other trying to work out who would make the first move and because I had no patiences at all, I only waited 30 seconds before I lunched myself at him. I threw a right punch and it connected with his jaw and finished off with a rouse house kick to his right hip. He stumbled back just a few steps before composing himself.

"That was for listening to my Ipod without my permission." I smiled my man eaters smile but before I knew it, he kicked my feet from under me and pinned me to the mat. Great just great. He was sitting on top of me, pinning my arms above my head and looking into my eyes. The look on my face must be saying something because he was smiling at me.

"Never let anything distract you Rosemarie." And with that he got off me and prepared himself for attack and boy god he was going to get it.

We circled we each a few times.

" I never get distracted Irish, I let you pin me then."

He let out a small laugh, which made me feel funny inside. I loved the sound of his laughter.

"Yeah OK Rosemarie, I think differently to that." And with that he lunched himself at me but I managed to block his attack and kick him in the stomach with all my force and sent him flying across the room. I walked upto him and offered my hand. He took it and stood up.

"That's what you get for calling me Rosemarie, My mother only has the rights to call me that!"

He started laughing again. God I wasn't that funny seriously.

"Yes I know that Hathaway and I know you prefer being called Rose but I had a feeling your full name might annoy you and I was right, also I like the name." He shrugged his shoulders and grab a bottle of water.

"OK Hathaway you can go if you want, I'll catch you in the morning." I just stood there watching him leave the gym.

My thoughts were starting up again and I quickly plugged my Ipod into the sound system and put on the mental genre on. I need to let some steam off and frankly I didn't know why. I was worked up without a reason. I thought it might have to do with Lissa. I stood there and let myself go and I could get into her head. She was with Adrian which didn't shock me. They were practising spirit. I pulled myself back into my own head.

"_Rose im fine, what's up? I just felt you?"_

"_nothing Lissa, I was just checking where you were. I'll come and find you soon."_

"_OK, remember I can feel your feeling to!"_

I didn't answer her back. I turned my music on full blast and went to town on the dummies. If it wasn't the blackness of Lissa then why the hell am I worked up! I let my mind wonder through everything that has happen to me. From my mum putting me into the academy to meeting Conner. I was seriously worked up by now. Then I finally came back to reality and notice there wasn't much left of the dummy at all and moved onto the next one and noticed the foo fighters were playing. A smile played on my lips knowing that this is one of Conner's favourite bands.

"What did that dummy do to you Rose?" I knew that voice anywhere.

"Nothing Irish, It was just there and I've been through a lot lately." It felt really weird that I already knew his voice but to be fair there wasn't another Irish guardian here. Well that's what I'm sticking too.

"You have been here for over an hour, you know Rose." He was walking over towards me now and I turned down the music abit because if he was telling the truth curfew was only half an hour away.

I turned towards him and didn't hide the shock from my face there was no point. I looked at the time. Oh yeah I have been here for an hour and 25 minutes. Great I'll better run and meet up with Lissa.

"OH crap. I'm late. I'm sorry Irish I've got to run." I just started to walk over to get my bag and he grab my arm. I felt a small shiver going up my arm from where he grab. I so didn't need this right now!

"Are you sure your OK Rose? The only time I tear a practise dummy to bits is when something is seriously upset me and I need a release."

OK that was weird we were more alike then I first thought. He was staring at me like he was trying to work me out but he was coming blank everytime his eyes swept over me.

"Irish, NO I'm not fine and I'm not ready to talk to anyone about it!" I ripped my arm out of his grip and continued back to my room. I didn't want to see know one right now. I need to sort my head out again. I got my to room and just flopped onto my bed. The tears started to fall. I didn't need this right now. I cant afford to fall for someone else or to be with anyone. I just wanted graduation to hurry so me and Lissa could get to the court and get away from here and my memories.

I have been in my room for about 3 hours and I was still curled up on my bed with tears falling down my face. There was a slight knock on my door but I didn't move, well I couldn't. I hated people seeing me weak and the only people to see me like this was Lissa, Adrian and Dimitri. Just thinking his name made another round of sobs leave me. The knocking didn't stop even after 10minutes. Then it just stop. Great they left me alone but then I heard someone picking the locks, GREAT just great! The door opened up slowly and I turned around to face the person who was invading my personal space which seriously pissed me off. The person flicked the light switch and I was shocked who was standing in my room. They closed the door behind them and I was still in shock.

"Rose why didn't you answer your door?"

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So what do you all think???

What did you think of the Irish hotty which is guardian Jones???

Please let me know!


	6. Chapter 6

Conner was standing there with his hands behind his back leaning against my door. His brown perfectly spiked hair was abit messed up like his been dragging his hand through it in annoyance.

"What the hell are you doing here? I thought I told you to leave me alone? Cant you get the _fucking hint?_ I don't want to talk to anyone right now let alone someone who has only known me 5 bloody minutes. Get the hell out of my room before I chuck you out of my window!"

"Well by the looks of things the answers are... I'm here because I want to, yes you did, no its obviously I cant and I'll love to see you try to chuck me out of the window Rosemarie, I'm a lot stronger then you." He was still standing there with a smirk on his face. He was finding me funny. How bloody dare him. He doesn't know nothing about me apart from my likes and dislikes and the fact im obviously the most amazing novice that is surely better then him.

Before he could even blink I had him by his throat up against the door by a few feet. Yeah I was a few inches smaller then him but I'm a lot stronger then I look.

"Irish, I ain't in the mood for theses games. I told you to leave me the fuck alone and to drop it and this appears like you cant take the fucking hint. So before I throw you out of my room, promise me if I put you down you will shut up and walk out. I don't want to wreck what we have already got!" Yeah once I said it, I realised that last statement had a double meaning. Even though I had him up against the door like this his eyes widen at the last statement. Yep he definitely got the double meaning of it and I could see the wheels turning in his head about what to say now.

I gently loosen my grip on him and he slid down the door till he landed on his feet. Then grab my arm and turned me around so my back was against his chest and my arm was up my back. He lent down and whispered in my eye,

"If you ever, EVER try that again, I wont let you get off with it so lightly."

He still held me in this position, breathing down my neck, which was doing things to me, I never wanted to feel again. It was sending electric shocks all over my body and I felt like I could melt at any moment but I stood my ground and manage to twist myself out of his grip and composed my face at the same time.

"Well if you ever, EVER invade my privacy again then expect it AGAIN!" I gently pushed him out of my personal space since we were standing all of a few inches between us and I didn't like what it was doing to me. Conner only stumbled a few steps but composed himself again and was staring right into my eyes which started to break me down bit by bit. I could feel my mask falling off bit by bit. My fist started to ball up and I started to shake. As my body started to shake the sobs started to build up again. How could this 19 year old man get to me this much! Yeah he is a legend in his own rights but I beat him. He only had 5 Molnija before he graduated and what I've got 2 molnija marks and a star molnija to show I was in a battle and killed many Striogi's. So why is he effecting me more then anyone has done, well maybe not as much as Dimitri but still it was getting close to it. Just his touch sent shivers through me and him breathing down my neck sent electric shocks all over my body. ERGH! My head is doubly up my arse now.

I just collapsed in a heap on the floor letting the sobs over take me. Conner slid down the door till he was sat on the floor crossed legged, dragged me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around me and rocked me back and forth without saying a word. He calmed me down pretty quickly, once I realised that it was because I was snuggled into his chest made me feel guilty and started off another round of sobs! God how could one man, Dimitri break me down this much! I hadn't even known him 6 months and this is what he did to me. And now, this hot young Irish guy had broke me down within under 24hours. Life isn't fair. My heart isn't ready but it seems to want to let Conner in even though its first love had only left a week ago. Why does everything have to be so complex! If I was a moroi it would be soo much different. My anger picked up again.

I stood up and grab my Ipod before I could even blink. Jeez I'm either blacking out or I can move a hell of a lot faster now. I turned around to see Conner staring at me blankly still with his arms held out.

"What the hell Rose?"

"Sorry Conner, can you move I sort of need to go somewhere now!"

He smiled slightly "That's the first time you actually said my name. I'm in shock!"

"Yeah. OK. Irish. Can you move so I can get out!" I put on the puppy dog eyes for effect and pouted my lips which no man could refused.

"Rose you know the rules its past curfew. Where you going?"

Like yeah, I know its past curfew and he can probably guest where I'm going but as he said that he moved out of my way with his head held down, which for some reason made me go over to him and place my hand on his cheek, which he lent into. OK I didn't need that. I moved my hand away and ran down to the gym and plug in my Ipod again, then walked up to the dummies next to the one I'd not long battered to bits. I started all over again. Kick, punch, kick, punch, punch, kick. I continued this while crying my heart out. Where the hell did all theses emotions coming from. I've never cried some much in my life.

The next Thing I felt was someone grabbing my arms and pulled me back towards then and turned me around. My face hit a nicely defined chest and my arms wrapped around an amazing body. Yeah I knew it was Conner again from the First touch but this time I let him comfort me without a fight. I needed some comfort right now and he is the only person stubborn enough to put up with me. Yep we are definitely to alike. I lifted my head up to look into his eyes once my sobs completely died out and the whole time he didn't say a word. Just looked at me while stroking my hair.

"thank you" I barely whispered

He place a hand on my cheek and wipe away the last tear rolling down my face.

"Your welcome. Only someone as stubborn as me would put up with what I have tonight. I want to know what has got you so messed up Rosemarie."

I looked down and took a deep breath in, "A lot of things but mainly you." It slipped out before I could even think of anything else to say.

Conner looked like he was taken back from what I said but he didn't move from are embrace. Instead he tilted my head up and looked deeply into my eyes and started leaning towards me and I couldn't pull away, well I didn't want to. I wanted him to kiss me there and then. His lips touched mine and I gasped. I could feel him smiling against my lips. He placed his hand into my hair, pulled me closer to him and kissed me again. My heart missed a beat and my whole body felt like it was on fire. He brushed my lower lip with his tongue asking for permission to deeper are kiss which I gladly open my mouth to let him in. We were standing there just kissing passionately for what seemed like forever when he finally pulled away. Then his faced changed. It was cold, hard and his eyes were blank. Before I knew it he broke from are embrace and ran out of the gym.

* * *

Hey all :D

I thought ill leave my note till the end so i can bug you some more :D

thank you everyone who has me reviewing and supporting me especial Alex 3

for whom this story would never had entered my mind,

and for a few answers:- one yeah I know i put it as a rose and dimitri story

but thats because it will be.... I just need to set the story right and you

will find out soon enough what i mean ;)

No it isnt going to be an adrian story as you can already tell

and oh ... Yeah i have a major thing for the Irish accent at the minute if

you cant tell....

soo all that is left to say is

now you have read it and made your opinion on this chapter or so far in

my Fanfic please REVIEW and be kind i dont have a beta :D


	7. Chapter 7

Connors POV

I quickly let go of her. What was I thinking! OK she is the hottest women I have every seen and her personality just made her more beautiful but I was her mentor. I looked into her hazel eyes trying to put across that I was sorry but the look on her face was just pure shock. I turned and ran out of the gym before she could say anything. This wasn't what I wanted or what I needed. I'm only 19 and a legend in my own right. I had a job to do which I thought I loved, until I met Rosemarie yesterday. How could someone you just met, change everything you know upside down. I knew what I wanted in life and what was going to happen. I knew I probably wouldn't live past 30 so I never thought of finding someone or a family. Well the only way that would happen is with a moroi women but hardly any of them do that, they just wanted to higher their own race and make it more harder for us to protect them. So I just used and abused women, basically I was a player. I knew how to get any women eating out the palm of my hand. How do you think I got to guard at St Vlad's, I really wanted to meet Rosemarie. I heard so much about her and she is the only Dhampir to kill as many Striogi as she had before they graduated and to make it more rare she was the only female Dhampir ever in history to even kill a Strigoi before they graduated, So I really wanted to meet her. Mainly over pride, she beat me! And secondly when I went to speak to the Queen she asked me to go to St Vlad's to keep an eye on Rosemarie and the Queen's great nephew because she thought something was going on between them but I never thought I'll fall for Rosemarie and I've fallen pretty hard.

How could one women change everything in 24hours.

Before I knew it I was walking in the woods behind the academy but still behind the wards. I didn't know how I got here but as I looked ahead, I seen the sun was already up. God have I really been walking around all night. I shook my head. She has seriously got to me and I don't like this one bit. I started walking back to my room. I needed some sleep, I looked at my phone. Great I've got 8 hours until my practise session with Rosemarie. _Rosemarie_. I need to stop thinking about her like this. This could never work! And even if it could it would wreak us because Rosemarie or the Princess Dragomir haven't been told yet that I might be the Princess's other guardian. They all wanted to know how me and Rosemarie would work together before assigning me to her. So I need to stop any form of relationship happening between me and Rosemarie before we both fall in to deep. Then to top it off, Rosemarie's former mentor and fellow guardian assigned for the Princess, Dimitri Belikov, left about 2 weeks ago and the rumours going around actually could be the truth. Well their were only a few but they all linked to Rosemarie. Some say it was because he couldn't handle her know more, others say it was because the moroi he's assigned to know as offered him benefits but the third one stuck more then the others, because he was falling for Rose. I've only heard that once but Alberta gave that guardian the most evil glance I've ever seen and then told them that it was unprofessional to talk of such things and that Belikov wouldn't dare ruining his reputation like that. But just by the glance she gave them told me this was actually true. So it does explain a lot of Rosemarie's anger at the moment but I don't blame Belikov one bit. Rosemarie was intoxicating in many ways and I know if I don't sort this out soon, I'll end up doing the same and that means Rose and the Princess meeting yet another Guardian and to learn and get to know them again and I couldn't do that and I wouldn't. I wont let her mess up my plans and the life I knew I was destined to have.

Rose's POV

I just stood there and watch him leave me! Why am I doing this again! Dimitri hasn't been out the picture even 2 weeks and I've kissed to men since and both have turned me down. I Think I'm cursed! I'm crumbled to the floor with my head in my hands. I didn't even noticed someone's arms go around me until I felt someone stroking my hair. I looked up to see Lissa sitting there, just staring at me with mixed emotions. How the hell I didn't feel her coming is beyond me but she must of felt what im feeling. This two-way bond now is a pain but I needed comforting right now so I let it slide. I could feel her through the bond telling me everything is going to be OK and that it was a mistake. How the hell did she know what happen.

_I was pulled into your head when Conner stepped away from you._

_Erm WOW. OK. Slightly freaked at the moment Lissa. This bond is getting stronger then?_

_By the looks of things, yeah it is Rose. I'm so sorry about Conner but maybe its the right thing. You don't want to go through what you did with Dimitri again do you? _

God I know she is right but I felt so unwanted right now. Adrian didn't want me at the moment because he knew he would be a rebound and Conner I don't know. I just need to be by myself for a while and get over Dimitri without a men in my life. I didn't need that I needed to put everything into protecting Lissa and that means more to me then anything.

"Can you walk me back to my room Lissa?"

"Come on Rose you don't need to ask me that." She smiled at me as if she actually read my thoughts which she probably did.

We walked back to my room in silence but it was a comfortable silence which suited me fine. Lissa hugged me once we got outside my room and I walked in and just flopped onto my bed. I knew what I was meant to do now. I'm gonna pretend like nothing happen with Conner and get through my graduation then move to the courts with Lissa like I was meant to do. I don't need know one else in my life apart from my friends and I didn't want to have a relationship no more because I know I'll be lucky to live past 25 especially since I will be guarding Lissa. I must of fell asleep because the next thing I knew I felt myself being pulled to a beach. Great Adrian has decided to stop avoiding me. I was dressed in baggy jeans which hugged my bum, black flip-flops and a white tank top. Hmm not to my usual taste but I liked it. I looked around and seen some swings so I went to sit on one and started slightly swinging and staring out to sea. It felt so normal here and it was pure. Nothing had tampered with it, it was a perfect piece of heaven which I needed right now.

I didn't even notice Adrian sitting on the swing next to me until he spoke.

"hey little Dhampir"

I nearly jumped out of my skin which made him chuckle alittle. God I've missed his laugh which in return made me smile. I slightly turned my head to look at him. He was dressed in ¾ length shorts which were black and a white button down shirt which he had open. His hair was the just out of bed look which actually suited him but the dark circles under his eyes worried me. He must of noticed the worried looked in my eyes and quickly looked away. I let out a small sigh and looked back out to sea.

"How you been?"

"How come you have been Avoiding me like I'm a Strigoi?" I didn't want to answer his question because the boy knew when I was lying so there was no point, so I thought I would throw that one at him. It was the only chance in a week that I've had chance to speak to him.

"Because I thought you could do with some space, Rose and plus you did actually hurt me and I needed to think thing through." He didn't look at me once while saying this, he was staring out to sea just like I was.

"Well you don't need to hide from me no more, Adrian. I had my eyes opened tonight and I know what I want to do now. I don't want to hurt know one no more and I'm just going to stick to what my life is actually about, which is protecting Lissa. And how am I meant to do that when I'm involved with someone."

Adrian looked at me then so I turned my gaze onto him and I noticed hurt in his eyes but it was gone quicker then a blind of an eye. Then the dream started to fade and I was once again back into darkness. Seems like he didn't like that answer but that's what im going to do.

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A/N .. Hey all =D

i know i aint updated in a few days and im working on the next chapter

but i thought ill let you all know i wont be updating for about a week because im

going on holiday with work tomorrow for 5 days, so i gave you this chapter as a leaving

present and ill tell ya what the next chapter is... its in Dimitri POV XD

which i just got a bad case of writers block half way through because i wanted to give

you that aswel :( so im sorry and i know you are all gonna kill me for telling you that

but it will keep you hanging on.

so you all know what to do... **REVIEW PLEASE**!!!! i like them alot... and they help me

write if i know what people think of my first proper fanfic :D

oh disclaimerrrr the lovely Richelle Mead owns the characters apart from Connor .. hes all mine :D


	8. Chapter 8

A/N Hey all =D

i know I aint updated for a week but I've been on holiday with work and i couldnt take my laptop.. seriously bad times!

but know im back. YAY

and oh hehe Dimitri is back well just for this chapter anyways..... for now so enjoy

**Disclaimer**... Sadly i dont own VA the lovely and amazing Richelle Mead does well apart from Connor hes alll mineeeeee

Oh and a reminder ya'll be nice I dont have a beta so the grammar maybe abit rubbish lol

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Dimitri' POV

It's been nearly 2 weeks since I left St Vlad's and I still cant stop thinking about her and how I left without a goodbye. _Roza_. God how I missed her. She was my light in the dark, the other half of me but I gave it all up because of the _fucking_ stupid moroi laws! Why cant they protect themselves once in a while. Why did they need use to protect them when they can do it themselves. Why cant we, Dhampir's be with other Dhampir's and not be frond upon. Why was it so forbidden in my life when two people actually love each other for them not to be together. Why do they come first and we are just their lap dogs!

Yes I know I've got it easy now, Tasha is a royal Moroi but is an outcast due to what her family did and she wanted a family, which is where I come in. Tasha has had a thing for me for a while even if she is 6 years older then me and she is truly beautiful but she just didn't know me like Roza did. I made this choice for a reason, to protect the Princess and Roza because it wouldn't be any help if we came across some Strigoi and I'm more protective of Roza then the Princess. So here I am guarding a Moroi that loves me and I don't return her feeling but she knows this. I remember the day she meet me off the plane.

**Flashback **

_The plane was about to land so I left the bathroom. I spent most of the flight in there so no-one could see the silent tears that were falling down. I couldn't believe I had done this. Left the other half of me to protect her from this society we lived in. I did this for her, so she could be the guardian I knew she was going to become and me being involved with her the way it was going, wasn't going to help. _

_I sat back in my seat and fasten the seat belt. I was breathing deeply as we descended, so I could compose myself to see Tasha. Once we landed I waited for everyone else to get off the plane before I even undid my belt. I shakily undone it and stood up. I mentally shook myself reminding myself for the millionth time since I made this decision that this was all for her, for Roza. I slowly reached the stairs to get off the plane. As I looked out with a bag slung over myself shoulder, I seen Tasha and plastered a fake smile on my face. I was walking down the stairs when Tasha finally noticed me and she started to walk over to me, well it was more like speed walking. It seem like she wanted to run towards me but decided not to. As she reached me she stopped dead in her tracks. _

"_Dimka, Whats the matter?" _

_How could she tell, I made sure I splashed water on my face for a while to hide the redness and puffiness of my eyes and I put on a fake smile to reassure her. "There is nothing wrong Tasha. I'm just tired. I have been up for over 24hrs so I probably look as rough as hell." That's not including the bottle of Vodka I had once I got onto the plane but I ain't going to tell her that one. I can do a pretty good impression of a sober person, well Dhampir and plus she wont get attacked as much as other royals due to her family. So I had it pretty easy. The other thing making it worse for me, is knowing, Princess Dragomir is dating Tasha's Nephew which means I will be seeing Roza quiet a lot due to Tasha and Christian are really close._

"_Mhm, OK Dimka. I know something is up but I know you will tell me in your own time." she gave me a small smile and turned around._

"_Yeah Like I could tell anyone about Roza" _

_Tasha stop dead in her tracks again and spun round to face me. Shit did I say that out loud. It sounded like I just said it in my head but then again I have had a bottle of Vodka. The thought of Roza knowing this made me laugh inside. The verbally abuse she would give me for this would actually be funny to watch. A 17 year old woman giving a 24 year old man a talk over alcohol would make anyone laugh._

"_what **did** you just say?" I couldn't read her facial expressions. God dammit. People and their masks!_

"_I, did say anything Tasha but I am tired." _

"_No Dimka we ain't dropping this. You know what you just said." I quickly looked down yep she has worked it out. I could hear the anger in her voice but her face was blank. "So what about you and Rosemarie, Dimitri???"_

_I couldn't look at her, She knew what was coming. It was in her eyes. The disappointment was in them. I just lifted my head up, breathed in deeply and lowered my head. As I was about to walk away, Tasha started to shake. _

"_Dimitri, You **Loved** her, didn't you?" _

_I just looked at her straight into her eyes, "No Tasha, I didn't love her, She's the other half of me and if there was away around these stupid Moroi laws, I would be with her but since I cant I made this biggest** Decision **of my life. So excuse me if I ain't myself but could you just SHUT THE FUCK UP and leave me alone for a few days!" And with that, I left a shocked Tasha and walked to the car and got in. _

End of flashback.

Since then I have told Tasha everything. She knew she couldn't be more to me then just a friend and a person to protect her but she would try every know and again with me. Seems like she wasn't going to give up. What is wrong with people! When you tell them that you completely and hopelessly in love with someone, the still feel the need to try it on. Since the day I arrived I got myself into a routine. Well it wasn't much of a one.. Sleep, Eat, drink and watching mindless telly, Oh and Think about Roza every dam second when something else wasn't clouding my mind. Even the gym didn't do nothing. Roza was on my mind 24/7 and nothing help me forget her.

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I know its a short one but ill make up for it soon :D


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer!!! i only own Conner sadly! but the amazing Richelle Mead does. and Oh **I just started reading her Georgina Kincaid series... truly amazing!!!!!!

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The Next few Weeks went past with a blur. I got myself into a routine. I stop flirting with Connor as much as I didn't want too, because, COME ON Irish is completely hot and totally in the age limit for me but I just didn't want, what happen between me and Dimitri to happen again. Plus I found out the other week that he was going to be Lissa's other Guardian. So well done Lissa for having to kick ass guardians both under the age of 20 and to top that off we all get on really great. Since the day after the kiss between me and Connor I had to talk to him. Which I did and he did apologise of walking off like that but it was because he actually felt the way I did and we both said. In another life and another world it could of happen but we both needed to keep it professional for Lissa.

Adrian... well that was another pretty confrontation. Well there wasn't much of one. As soon as Adrian saw me he just grab me into a bear hug and repeatedly said sorry into my hair. Which for that he got a punch in the arm, well what did he expect it takes forever to get my hair straight and I don't perfectly wake up like this.

So yeah my routine, well yeah it goes like up, training, lessons, training then hanging with everyone. Which is weird since are group is basically, Lissa, me, Christian, Adrian, Eddie and Connor. Yeah major weird... two lads of which I've kissed since Dimitri which was 5 weeks ago and to be honest it was getting a lot easier.

WAIT! 5 weeks ago............

I quickly pulled Lissa's thoughts into my head I needed to know where she was. I needed her right this second. I stood there for a second until I could feel where she was. Luckily she was in her room alone. I ran straight there not even noticing it was getting close to curfew. I got outside her door, and took a few deep breaths before I pounded on her door. Lissa Quickly open the door and her face dropped when she saw me.

"Can I come in please Lissa its an emergency?"

She just moved aside for me and I went to sit on her bed playing with my fingers. Praying I could be wrong. Lissa just closed the door and stared at me.

"Liss, how long ago was it when Dimitri left?"

"Nearly 6 weeks ago" She looked at me weird raising an eyebrow. Why can everyone do that instead of me!

"Right OK... Liss...Can.. you... get... me...something?" Yeah I basically chocked the words out because I couldn't believe what I was about to ask.

"Rose, What is it? Whats up? I have never seen you like this."

"Well Lissa, im errm........ Late." I just looked down as the last bit of colour that Lissa had drained from her face.

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A/N

Yeah i know that is the shortest chappy I have ever written and I knew I promised a long one but I never plan the

chapters which I should. I just write it and let the story flow on its owns :D explains my seriously bad grammar aswel.

i should really invest in a beta! lol

Pleaseeeee Review I love hearing what everyone is thinking about this story and my so called writing abilities lol

and plus conner wants you too aswell :D hes missing the spot light already. hehe


	10. Chapter 10

A/N : Hey all XD

yeah im abit dumb! you all know this story is dedicated to my fellow fanfic _AlexRozaBelikov_

well yesturday it finally hit home.. why didnt i ask her to be my beta!!!

well guess what she is :D well from this chapter onwards.

so i want to say thank you to Alex for one letting me nick this idea ( with the condition i dont nick any more)

and for being my beta :D

**Disclaimer: ** i still cant believe i dont own VA!! but luckily the most talented writer Richelle Mead does well apart from Conner hes all mine!!!!

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Lissa didn't move for what felt like forever! Jeez, is she overreacting just a little? "Err, Lissa, say something."

She shook her head like she was coming out of a trance. "What did you say before?"

"Liss, I'm late, like 5 weeks late!"

"Oh….OHHH! Err, How?" She looked confused as ever. Like come on the girl has slept with people so she knew how it happened.

"Well, I did sleep with Dimitri, remember six weeks ago?" I stated, but really, I was shaking up inside like hell.

"Yeah, I know that Rose but everyone knows dhampirs can't get pregnant by other dhampirs."

"Lissa, I aren't the typical dhampir, am I? So could you get me a pregnancy test please? So I can say it's down to the stress instead of what it might be."

Lissa stood up before I could even blink and ran over to her bathroom. After a few minutes she reappeared with a pregnancy test and handed it to me. I just stared at it and walked into the bathroom. After reading the instructions, which were pretty easy – Wee on the stick, wait for a minute and then it tells you – so I did the test and put it on the side and counted up to 60 for it to tell me my fate. I was pacing around the bathroom when Lissa popped her head around the door and walked in. The 60 seconds were up and we both looked at the test. My world became black and I passed out.

I woke up in the clinic.

"How the hell did I get here?" I looked around confused. The last I remember was looking at the test and then blackness taking over me.

"Well, you fainted Rose." Lissa was sitting in the chair next to my bed and I could see it in her eyes. She was seriously worried about me now and she was confused.

"How the hell could I be pregnant?"

"I don't know Rose but you have been out for two days now, it must have been the shock, but while you were out me and Adrian-"

"Adrian Knows!" Now I was annoyed. I didn't want anyone to know mainly because I have had like 10 seconds to get used to the idea that I'm carrying Dimitri's baby, let alone think about anything else. I didn't know if I wanted to keep it or to get an abortion before anyone found out, but now Adrian knew. Great, just fucking great!

Lissa carried on with what she was saying without noticing I even spoke. " We were thinking how this could of happened, well apart from the obvious, but we think its because your shadowed kissed that your body doesn't act the same as other dhampir's and because you got a part of me in you. That is why apparently you are able to have a child with other dhampir's. And yes, Adrian knows!" Ok obviously she heard me. "Who else was I meant to ask about this? I needed to work this out so I could at lest tell you something that made some sense, but that is all it is. A theory to what we think has happen."

Oh My God. I'm actually carrying Dimitri's child. I could give him everything he wanted. How am I going to tell him? What if he's shacked up with Tasha already? I wouldn't want to wreck that for him after everything else I've put him through. But what should I do? Keep the baby and let everyone think I'm a blood whore and let the academy bring my child up or get an abortion and carry on with my life? But its a child made by me and Dimitri. I couldn't abort this baby.

Great, ten minutes after I found out I was pregnant, I found out how it might have happened and what I'm going to do about it. All I needed to do now was think about how and what I'm going to tell people.

_Everything is going to be fine Rose._

_Have you just been listening to my rambling Liss?_

_Of course. I love this bond even more now. _I could feel her mentally smiling.

_What if you go through the motions of my pregnancy with me? Ah Lissa._

_Err, yeah, I didn't think of that. _I mentally scowled at her naivety.

There was a knock on my door and then the Doctor walked in.

"Hello Miss Hathaway, how are you feeling?"

"Great Doc, can I go now?"

"Err Miss Hathaway; I need to have a chat with you. Princess could you give us a minute please."

Lissa got up and walked outside. No doubt she will sneak into my head to see what the Doc has got to say.

"Rose we did a blood test while you were out and something popped up which worries us."

"Just spit it out Doc" Ok, I was worried now.

"Err Rose do you know your pregnant?"

My world shattered. This was something I so didn't want or needed right now.

"Yes Doc, that is what made me faint and black out for two days."

"Oh, Ok. Who knows?"

"Only you, Lissa and Adrian."

"Right and do you know who the father is?" My face must have dropped to the floor. "I didn't mean it the way it came out Rose, its just procedure."

"Oh, well this might err, complicate things and to be honest I really don't want to say who the father is, but thanks for asking."

"Ok, well you need to go and speak to Kirova when you're ready, I'll let her know you're awake and you will be down as soon as possible."

"Thanks Doc"

And with that the Doctor left and Liss walked back in. She sat on the bed with me. "What are you going to tell Kirova?"

"I don't know."

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well i hope you liked it

and in the words of Kirova, If you want to know what iav got to say PRESS that green button which says review on!!

and oh another A/N OMG iav had like 2k hits on this so far this month :D which is amazing for me and is a major

ego boost and its making me write and so is the reviews! i had 400 hits on the last chapter in 24hrs which is amazing

so thank you all... its means a hell of lot to me


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own nothing in this apart from my Irish boy 3

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What am I going to tell her, "Oh hey Kirova, yeah you probably heard from the Doc that I'm pregnant and I don't want people to know who the father is, and so can we just drop it?" Just didn't seem right and would have landed me in another Kirova-long-ass-chat that I wouldn't pay attention to and walk out mindlessly to what had just been said to me. Well anyway here goes. I knocked on the headmistress Kirova's door and just walked in. You know I don't wait and she knew I was coming.

"Ah, Miss Hathaway, take a seat." So of course I sat on the chair with my legs dangling over the arm and my arm hanging over the back of the chair examining my nails.

"So let's get to the point Miss Hathaway, since you probably know why I asked to speak to you." Well this was a first. Kirova was actually sitting down facing me and was actually looking at me. Now this freaked me out completely!

"Yes Kirova."

"So would you like to tell me what you planned to do with it and who the father is?"

"Well Kirova I was thinking of keeping it and letting the academy bring the child up and no, I will not tell you who the father is. That is my business, no one else's. Ok?"

"Have you not thought of abortion Miss Hathaway since you will be three months pregnant at graduation so you will only be guarding Princess Vasilisa for another four months after that before you have to take leave for the birth, if not before hand depends on how the pregnancy goes."

Hmm I really didn't think of it like that but what else could I do. I couldn't get rid of this child. Not now anyway. If you'd asked me four months ago weather I would abort it if I got caught, I wouldn't think twice about my answer but now, I had to. If I keep this child – which I will! – I would have to leave Lissa for a few months so I could give birth and do a bit of training before I start guarding again and if I abort, I wouldn't have rumours going around, wouldn't have to face stares of people and especially of Dimitri. Dimitri. He is the only reason why I want to keep this child. God I've just turned 18 and I'm pregnant by a man that left me and I haven't heard off in 6 weeks. My life is amazing.

"Yes I have thought of an abortion but I don't think I could kill something because it's in the way of my life. Ok unless it's a Strigoi, but that's different."

"You sure you can cope with the aftermath of this Miss Hathaway?" Kirova looked worried which scared me. Is she worried about me or about what will happen?

"Yes I'm sure I can."

"Ok, we will keep this between us and people you can trust until you're showing at least then we can address this properly with the student body but hopefully it won't come to that. Well hopefully you won't show till after graduation and you will be at the court then with Princess Vasilisa."

"Thank you Kirova" and with that I just walked out but not before someone stop me by grabbing my shoulder lightly.

I turned around to see Alberta looking at me. "Please tell me it's not Dimitri's, Rose."

Great, only Alberta knew. Well she clicked on to mine and Dimitri's relationship, but surely she would think like everyone else that dhampires can't get pregnant by other dhampires

"Rose, everyone knows you're shadow-kissed and that makes you different from other dhampires, and how far gone you are, makes sense that it would be Dimitri's. Please just don't lie to me Rose."

Garr I couldn't lie to her. She was sort of there for me after Dimitri left and in my heart, I sort of owed her this. "Yes Alberta it is Dimitri's but please don't tell him this. I'm begging you. He left me not just to protect me and Lissa but because he thought Tasha could offer something I could never give him. I just don't want to be a home wrecker and wreck what might of happened between Tasha and him already." A silent tear fell from my eye. Bloody single traitor of a tear, showing how much this has just hit me. Alberta wiped it away and sighed heavily.

"Ok Rose, I won't say anything to Dimitri if you don't want me to and I'll be here for you throughout the rest of your time here and afterwards as well but can I just ask one thing?" I just nodded as I knew my voice would betray me more then that traitor of a tear would. "Who else knows about you and Dimitri and you carrying his child?"

"Lissa and Adrian" Alberta just nodded and whispered a thank you. She hugged me tightly and walked off, leaving me standing there opened mouthed from the shock that she hugged me so publically.

_WOW that was seriously awkward and why didn't you tell me Alberta knew! Rose!_

_Hey Lissa, _I mentally shook my head at her.

_Rose why didn't you tell me and oh Kirova actually was pretty light on you for a change._

_Tell me about it. _I was walking back to my room now and I could sense Lissa was there.

_Rose WHY DOES ALBERTA KNOW!!!!!!_

_She guessed OK?_ _At my training session with her she just came out with it and that's when Irish arrived OK?_

_Ok_ _I'll let it slide this once Rose._

_Yes mom, anyway what_ _are you doing in my room?_

_......Err; I'm not in your room._

_Ah Lissa my two way bond mind is still being stronger then yours._

_OK, Ok it's a surprise and don't slip into my head please. _She mentally sent me a picture of her puppy dog eyeing me.

_Ok_ _Lissa that's soooo doesn't work on me no more and I promise I won't._

_Ok Rose, I_'_ll see you in two minutes then._

As I opened my bedroom door I was greeted by Lissa and the gang with a bottle of champagne. Great. "WHAT THE HELL LISSA!"

Everyone had their mouths open like there were going to say something but they stopped and stared at me.

_Rose it isn't what you think. Eddie and Conner just thought of having a drink to celebrate you finally gracing us with your presence. Now change that face will you. I swear if looks could kill, I would be ten feet under._

"Well welcome to the living Rose." Conner was smirking at me.

"Err, Thanks. Sorry I went OTT then. I didn't mean to." I looked down; I couldn't believe I would think that Lissa would tell everyone without me saying so.

_Yeah I wouldn't_

_Ok Lissa stop that now please it_'_s seriously getting old!_

After that the rest of the evening went pretty well. Well I got filled in with the gossip I'd missed out on and made up for my sarcasm with Christian and Conner. When the Champagne was gone, we were all a bit giddy but no one was ready to leave. I jumped up making everyone else jump at the same time.

_No Rose we _so _are not playing this game._

_Why not?_

_Because my boyfriend is here!!!_

_And???_

As I picked up the empty bottle up and spun it in my hand I said, "Who's up for a game of spin the bottle?" All the guys' eyes lit up. "Well I'll take that as a yes then?"

"Well I've already kissed you little dhampir, but I wouldn't say no to another go" Adrian sat right opposite me. Like that would ever work!

Everyone was sat in a circle now and Lissa was mentally cussing me and kept telling me "If you kiss Christian I won't take you shopping for the baby's stuff." which really freaked me out.

As I picked the game of course, I took the bottle for spin first. I span the bottle and watched it spin, pass everyone and finally land on someone. My heart skipped a beat. I know with everything going on, I shouldn't be feeling like this but my heart couldn't help it. As I looked at the person it landed on the same feeling I felt, I could see in their eyes. Everyone was laughing at the pairing apart from me and the other person. "Come on let's get this done." I managed to sound pretty normal while saying that even though I was shaking inside. I could feel Lissa's eyes watching me. Garr this two way bond is seriously a pain in the arse. Now she knew what I felt towards him. I crawled over to the other person and he did the same. Just before our lips met he pulled away for a slight second and my face dropped by a smile played on those amazing lips of his. I haven't been this close to him since the last time and I felt a rush of lust go through me. When our lips finally met, I felt everything I felt the first time but ten times as strong and I couldn't stop tasting him and he couldn't stop either. We didn't stop until someone coughed. Slightly embarrassed, I put my head down and sat back into my place.

When I looked back up, everyone was there expect the person I just kissed.

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A/N Hellos Fanfic lovers :D

yeah its my 2nd chapter this week the juices have been flowing this week

i hope ya like it. i wanna thank my loyal reviewers loads for their support which

give me the motivation to do this fanfic and yes i do know there are a few others that are sort

of the same plot as mine. well sort of. dont worry the twists and drama in the story to get better.

SO review it makes me very happy :D and thanks again to Alex for being my Beta 3


	12. Chapter 12

Hey all :D

the chapter you have all been dieing for .. hehe

i hope you like it and all you Dimitri lovers he will be in the picture in chapter 14 i think coz

you all know i never plan the chapters i go with the flow of the story and let it build its self.

i special thankyou to my Beta AlexRozaBelikov 3 and to all my loyal reviews. ENJOY!

normal disclaimers apply well apart from Conner he is MINE!

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Everyone started laughing expect me and Lissa. "What...did...you...do...to...him?" Eddie couldn't even put a sentence together without laughing in between.

"I know your kisses aren't that bad little dhampir."

"And I don't know do I" Christian piped in with.

Lissa just looked at me.

_That wasn't the first time you pair kissed is it?_

_Err, maybe._ Yeah I didn't tell her about the first time due to the embarrassment and because it seemed like Dimitri all over again.

_You're lying_ _Rose. Come on tell me!!_

So I gave Lissa a quick round up of what happen the first time while the boys were still too busy laughing at the situation. Completely oblivious to what me and Lissa were talking about.

_OH MY GOD! Why didn't you tell me???_

_Well have a good guess why I didn't_

After a few seconds Lissa Clicked.

_Ooh Dimitri_

_Dimitri._

A mental picture of Conner's face before he ran out flashed in my mind. It was all twisted with shock and embarrassment but his eyes were telling me the complete opposite. The only thing this guy can't really control is his emotions. He tries the whole blank face, no emotion look but I can see straight through it and so can some other people. I just stood up and started to run. Out of my room and try and find Conner. I couldn't leave it at that. It was only a game. Why would he react like that? I had to know.

I ran all over the campus and I couldn't find him. I was about to give up and decided to sort my own emotions out now before I ran into him. I was going to the lake in the woods which has always made me think clearly. As I was walking there, I was looking up into the sky. It was only about 2pm (2am in human time. Yeah our days and nights are backwards if you have already forgotten) and there was a clear sky. The stars were out and the moon was full. I carried on walking, looking towards the sky and thinking about everything from the car crash with Lissa's family until the kiss that just happen between me and Conner for the second time. This kiss was completely different from the kisses with Dimitri. Dimitri and I always got fireworks and shivers but with Conner it was earth shaking and the black hole effect, where you lose everything you know in that kiss, where you are, who you are with and even to what your own name was. I never had anything like that before in my life and it half scared me and half excited me.

It only scared me because, well, it's like history repeating itself. Conner is a guardian, my trainer, my guarding partner once I've graduated but he was only a year older then me and a seriously badass god! But it excited me because he was a year older then me, we had so much in common but at the same time we had our differences and the way he makes me feel. I couldn't do this again. What is it with me and wanting my own race when I knew it will only bring me more heartache but being with a moroi will do the same. Being a Dhampir really sucks sometimes. Why aren't _we _allowed to have our own lives as well as being a guardian. What is wrong with a dhampir being with a dhampir, but I already know that one. If you're guarding the same Moroi, you will put your relationship before the Moroi hands down every time. That's why Dimitri left me.

When I looked down, I noticed I was near the lake already. My mind rambling must of lasted longer then I thought. I looked around and no-one was about. Oh well, he must of passed me by somewhere or he is hiding from me. I walked to a big rock that sat on the lakes edge. It was truly magical here. Well yeah I know I live with magic all the time and because of magical abilities that Moroi have, is the only reason I am here. But the lake was the most beautiful sight I've seen. The lake seemed to go on forever and ended at the bottom of the mountains, and it was surrounded by a maze of trees. You wouldn't know it was here unless you knew. The only Terence to it was through like an archway in the woods but the gap between the archways was always dark but as soon as you walked through it, it led to this. It was like magic put it here and I loved it. Especially tonight. The clear sky was reflecting onto it. I got lost within the beauty of this place every time I came here and to be honest, I've been coming here a lot lately. It was my favourite place to forget everything or to let my emotions go without people seeing. Well apart from Lissa but she always kept quiet about it, which I need to thank her for, since I never do it with her, which I think she's trying to say. Stop harnessing me when I am not in trouble.

I was completely zoned out, thinking about the whole Dimitri, child situation I've gotten into. Since this was the first time I could so far today since I found out like 6 hours ago. I knew I decided on keeping it and letting the academy raise it but it was the whole do I, don't I tell Dimitri which is eating me up. I came out of my trance to see someone standing next to me. Great I'm training to be a guardian and I can't even control my hearing for when I'm on my own. I looked up to see who had joined me and nearly fell of the rock.

"Hey Irish." God I sounded weak and fed up. I looked back down. This wasn't the time I wanted to speak to Conner but I know an hour or so ago I was running around trying to find him.

"Hey Rose." He sighed and sat down beside me. "I'm sorry I ran out like that before, I don't know why I did it."

"It's ok, don't worry about, it's just a game." I don't know who I was saying that to, because I needed to believe that myself and get over my insane crush on him. Well ok, it's more then a crush but come on, I really don't want history repeating.

"If you say so Rose, but we both know it affected us both."

"Yeah I know."

The silence between us went on for what felt like forever. We were both staring out at the lake. Then Conner spoke. "So, why did you come out here then Rose?"

Do I tell him the truth or just tell him I came here to think, but he was my friend as well and we were going to be partners in away so we do need trust between us. "Well, at first I came to find you," I looked up at him to see his reaction but he was just starring back at me with an expression I couldn't understand, "but when I couldn't, I found myself in the woods so I just came here. It helps me think." I said with a dry smile on my face.

"Think about what?"

"Everything."

"Oh." Was all he said. I couldn't sit here with him around me like this. I sat there for a few seconds longer before I stood up and walked away. I don't think Conner even noticed I moved, He was staring out across the lake just like I was. Why did I decide to tell him the truth! This isn't what I need right now. Garr, I don't need another man in my life. Not now, not ever. I just got to the archway when something from behind grabbed my wrist and spun me around to face them.

"Why did you come to find me Rose?"

"Why are you asking me this now? It's not like it matters anyway." I turned away from him and I couldn't look him in the eyes while saying that. It doesn't matter how much I try to remind myself, I didn't want to get into this situation again the more I felt being pulled towards him.

"Because it matters to me." He pulled my chin around with his finger so he could look at me. I looked down; I still couldn't look at him. We stood like this, for what seem like forever before I looked up at him again. It looked like he was searching for something in my eyes and I just got lost in his gaze again. He started to lean his head towards me and I could feel excitement creeping up in me. Before I knew it, his lips were locked on mine again. He opened his mouth a little bit and licked my lower lips to gain access to deepen the kiss which I accepted without even thinking about it. His breath was warm and exiting to me and I massaged his tongue with mine. I couldn't help myself; he tasted way too good to me.

I pulled away. What was I thinking? I didn't need this or want this. "I'm sorry Conner, I can't do this." I could feel the tears building up. Conner was breathing heavily from the kiss.

"But why, Rose? I've never met anyone like you before and I cant stop thinking about you. I want you in my life and not just on a business level either."

"Because I've been there before." And with that I left him there and ran.


	13. Chapter 13

hey all :D yeah i know its been foreverrrrrrrr.... but that coz my lappy is broke and the family comp keyboard is completely wack and doesnt do the symbols on the number keys at all but i needed my fanfic fix..

sooo alot of thanks and love to Alex for being my beta and having to put the speech marks and

stuff in for me :D

enjoy and oh disclaimerrr .... Conner is mine :D but everyone else is from the amazing mind of richelle mead.

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It was getting closer to graduation now. It's been over three months now since everything in my world came crashing down. 1st of all Dimtiri leaving me, then finding out that I'm actually carrying his child and then thirdly stopping history repeating it's self with Conner. Nothing was normal no more. Conner still did my training sessions and hung out with the gang, but would never be alone with me, even with my training sessions were always in public places due to the fact I had to clam down then because of the pregnancy, which was going pretty amazingly. I still aren't showing that much, we'll there's a slight bump there now, but I can hide it pretty well and the morning sickness finally gone away. Lissa hates it though. She is going through everything with me because of the bond, which has made me laugh. The whole both of us getting sucked into each others head was pretty funny when I was having my morning sickness and both of us being sucked in at different times. Lissa is always getting the craving as well. My cravings are totally wrong in every way possible. I can't stop eating ice cream sandwiches and carrot dip in jam. Yep, told you they were wrong and Lissa is eating it too. So lucky I don't look that weird to other people about my strange eating habits.

Conner has tried to speak to me after the god forsaken game of spin the bottle and the aftermath of it, but he didn't get too far with me. I just gave him the cold shoulder and he finally gave up over it, but somewhere in the back of my mind wished I never. I know I've got Lissa whenever I needed her, but bedtime cuddles is completely different level of our relationship, which we never want to explore, and I think if people i.e., Adrian knew we were sharing a bed, you can guarantee there would be a hidden camera in mine or her room.

Kirova and Alberta have been really amazing with me being pregnant too. Kirova has already allocated my babies room and Alberta has been an amazing support so far and had also helped me and Lissa decorate the bedroom, which is blue since I'm having a boy. I had my 20 week scan last week. Well I wasn't 20 weeks I was 17 weeks but I had been having regular scans since this was the first pregnancy like this. So the room is painted in a sky blue and all the furniture is all light wood and the fabric stuff was all in a royal blue. Lissa picked out everything of course since she was going to be an auntie. Yeah I have decided now since I am the baby's mother but also the guardian of the last Dragomir and heir to the thrown, I wanted apart in my child's life, well as much as my job would let me. But in my case that meant a lot of involvement. Lissa wanted me to have the child with us until he was about 6 or 7 but I thought better of it. I didn't or wanted the distraction of a child there and plus I know Lissa will want to visit whenever she got the chance. Also Alberta had signed another contract with the academy which lasted another five years so she promised me she would be the main care giver to him as well as Kirova which really shocked me. Kirova has been more giving and helpful then I thought she could ever be but she didn't know the whole truth and I didn't want her to know either. Only Alberta, Lissa and Adrian knew Dimitri was the father and that's how I wanted to keep it.

Everything was set up for graduation which was only two weeks away. Thank god! I had finally stopped my training sessions and lessons were out because the finals were next weeks, so all I had to do was nothing and it bored the hell out of me. Lissa was completely lost in the student pre-finals ball we are having in a few days time which upset me completely. No way could I wear the signature Rosemarie Hathaway second skin dress, but Lissa did find a dress that I fell in love with, not just because it hid the little bump I had, but it was completely stunning. It was black of course it needed to be and it did have a corset built it so I could hide a bit of my bump and had a deep V neckline which of course shown my cleavage, which has grown since. The only good part of this pregnancy, well apart from it's Dimiti's child. Lissa went with a classic straight green dress which went perfectly with her eyes.

The next few days went past in the blur mainly because everyone was stressing about the finals and packing in as much studying as possible well apart from Lissa who was stressing about everything that wasn't school related. Like the pre-finals ball, the graduation ball, moving to the court, how will people take to her and Christian, but mostly she was stressing about me and what we are going to do and say once we get to court. The plan was I was going to take my leave until I was about six months gone and we weren't going to tell anyone till I was showing properly but this boy wanted to be shown now. Lissa had to buy me some clothes last week because all my stuff was too small. I seriously wanted to cry. All the training and exercise I did to keep my body perfect has gone to waste, but sometimes I didn't mind because I can eat as much junk food as I like, which was still under wraps so no one would ask questions. This whole keeping it secret was starting to be a pain but we only had to do it for two more weeks.

It was finally the day of the pre-finals ball and Lissa was putting the last touches to the ballroom and told me to meet her in her room at 3am so she could get us both ready for the ball. I was just walking around the grounds on my own because everyone else was doing something. Adrian, of course had his hands on a bottle of vodka, sulking in his room over something he didn't want to talk about, Conner was on duty this afternoon, but promised me he will be taking me to the ball, yeah I know totally weird after everything, but we are just really good friends, even if my feeling do run deeper sometimes, and Eddie was cramming as much studying in as possible. Me, I couldn't care less. I know I'll be ok with the finals and didn't need to study. I was walking through the woods when I was suddenly pulled into Lissa's head and man she was pissed off and worried as hell. Christian was standing in front of her pleading with his eyes.

"What did you just say?" Lissa was seriously annoyed with him, which was out of character even for her.

"They are here now, they have come a week early to see us and Rose before we all go off to court."

"Rose doesn't need this right now. I was going to sit her down after the ball tonight and tell her they were coming next week not _today_. Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because Liss, I only just got a phone call off her now saying she has a surprise and that she was at the academy. What more do you want me to say Liss? I'm sorry."

Lissa stormed out of the ballroom and was looking for someone when I was finally released from her.

_Rose where are you?_

_I'm just in the woods, why?_

_Can you meet me up in my room, now, please?_

_Yeah of course, but tell me what the hell was that all about because I got sucked into your head and that hasn't happened in a long arse time Lissa._

_Yeah, I know, I felt you. Ill tell you once we are back in my room. _

_OK be there in a few._

I made it up to Lissa room in under a few minutes. Well yeah my speed has decreased since I'm pregnant which I'm so not happy about and it's really annoying. That's another reason why my training sessions where cancelled. I impatiently knocked on Lissa's door, which it seems like she was standing behind it since she opened the door while I was still knocked and dragged me in.

"What the hell Lissa?"

"Err; I need to tell you something?" She was standing there playing nervously with her fingers and not looking at me.

"Well I guessed that Lissa so just spit it out." Yeah I know. I'm completely impatient at the moment, well more then usual

Well err, Tashaishere." She was talking way to fast to get it over with and looked away. I couldn't move, I just looked at her in shock.

"And you knew they were coming, didn't you, but not today. Why didn't you tell me Lissa as soon as you knew they were coming?"

"Well, Rose I thought you might have known she would come. Come on Rose, she is Christian's aunty and last living relative."

Well that did shock me because I never thought about it until now. I'm going to have to face him, well before I even wanted too. "What do you mean she is here Lissa?"

Well you know Rose; you were in my _head_ when Christian told me."


	14. Chapter 14

hey all =]

im soooo sorry its like taken forever for the next chapter but like my lappy is still broke and im waiting for it to come back

and less my beta has had alot on aswell as her comp breaking on her too and i soo didnt wana get another beta =]

so i hope you lot will enjoy this.

Nadine x-x

* * *

I just didn't know what to do so I ran. I ran to the only place no-one knew where to find me and the only place I know I could just sit there and cry. Why the hell didn't I see this coming? I knew I had to face him sooner rather than later, but not this soon. This fortnight - or ever how long Tasha is going to be here for is just going to kill me emotionally even though I wont show it. Well, try not too. But now with this two way bond, Lissa is going to see for herself how much Dimitri means to me and I'm scared of how she will react.

_Rose where the hell are you??? You left me two hours ago and it's now 4am I have an hour to make you look amazing. Now get your skinny little butt to my room now before I try and use this bond to find you._

_Ok ok, I'm on my way now._

This is the one place I never wanted her to find. I loved this place way to much for it to be found. The lake was my hiding place and no-one else's. I stood up and walked back to Lissa's room where luckily I didn't run into anyone. The mood I was in, it wouldn't of been a good thing for that person. I was just about to enter the moroi building when someone cleared they're throat.

"Rose, is it okay if I talk to you for a second, please?" I turned around and sighed. It was only Alberta.

"Yeah of course, Alberta." I smiled just to hide the sheer joy that it was her and not someone else but she saw it before I managed to put my blank face back on.

"Will you walk with me while we talk?"

"Yeah sure." And with that we started to walk back out towards the wards.

_Liss, I'll be a few minutes. Alberta has caught up with me and wants a word. _

_Yeah, see you in a min. _

"so, what's up Alberta?"

"Rose, I know you know Dimitri is here and I just wanted to make sure you were alright before the ball tonight."

"I'm fine, Alberta, really. It's not like I'm going to see the man who left me for another woman to save both our careers and I'm carrying his child, and oh, he hasn't spoken to me since he left, now is it?"

Alberta stopped walking and turned around and pulled me into a hug. "Rose, you will be fine, hun. You are a lot stronger than you think and you will make the right choice on weather you want to tell him or not."

"Alberta, I have already made my mind up. I don't want to tell him. I don't want to be a bunny boiler and wreck something that might of started between them."

"I know that, Rose. Just so you know, if you need me for anything, you know I'm always here for you, right?"

"Yeah, I know." With that I actually smiled properly at her which she returned

"Go on now, Rose. Goback to Lissa and get ready for tonight. Am I going to remind you of the dress code,Rose?" She actually giggled saying this.

"Of course, Alberta. I wouldn't have it any other way. And with that I turned around and headed for Lissa's room, When I finally got there, she only had about and hour to get me ready, which she was really pissed about, but wouldn't show it. "Liss, it wasn't my fault. Alberta was making sure that I was ok and I can feel that you're pissed off about that, but come Lissa, it doesn't take me an hour to get ready. I'm perfect the way I am.

With that Lissa laughed. "Yeah, I know you are. Well, at least Alberta cheered you up. Now go and get in the shower while I get everything out.

Of course I did as I was told. A princess on a power trip was never good. I stepped into her shower, thanking the gods for my friends. Tonight was going to be the hardest thing ever for me, that's if he turned up, but knowing Tasha she would want to rub it in my face about her and Dimitri. I sat down in front of Lissa's massive vanity table and let her dry and curl my hair. She did loose ringlets for me which I totally loved her for and did my make-up as natural as possible with some damn sexy smokey eyes in purple and black. We still had twenty minutes until the boys showed up to take us, so of course Lissa broke out the cheesy pop songs so we could get in the mood which didn't take us long when the spice girls came on. Yeah, I know it's old but everyone knows if you want cheesy pop you put spice girls on. We were too busy dancing around like five years old and singing along that we didn't hear the knock on the door and then the door opening. We turned around to face the door to see a giggle, rolling around the floor giggling, Christian and Conner. We instantly stopped dancing and turned the music off.

"Ok guys, that isn't funny."

"Yes...it...was..the..famous..Rosemarie Hathaway...dancing and singing along to the spice girls was a classic to which I had a video camera for." Christian was laughing so hard that tears where streaming down his face. I looked up to see Conner standing there, well trying to with his phone in his hand.

"Christian done worry I have it all on here." Conner said with a sarcastic grin on his face.

"Oh you so didn't..." With that, Conner started running out of the building with me on his tail. Yeah, I can run with heels on but it's a pain and slows me down more but I think he wasn't running his best, well I knew he wasn't. I quickly caught him up and tackled him to the floor and he landed head first, but with the phone still in his hand. "Oh my god Conner! Give me your phone right now, this isn't fair!" I was sitting on his back trying to get his hands when he grab both my arms and rolled us over so I was on the ground.

"No, you so just didn't do this. Lissa is soooo going to be pissed at you if this dress is wrecked." He had me pined on the floor with the phone in his mouth and grinning at me, which seriously pissed me off.

"I swear, Conner, you better delete that video." When I said that, I grinded myself against him and his eyes went wide, which gave me the perfect chance to flip us over again. When I did I noticed there was a group of students surrounding us. I quickly grab the phone and completely sat on him while I went through his phone to delete the video. I stood up when I did only to be faced with Alberta.

"I see you can still take on your mentor ,Rose." She was grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"Of course I can." I handed my hand out to Conner so he could get up, which he took and then linked arms with me.

"That was so uncool Rose. How could you do that, that was my blackmail for the rest

of our working life."

"Well it isn't any more." And with that we walked to the ball.


	15. Chapter 15

Hey all :D

I know its been forever again! but my work load is getting hugeee everytime i go to work! and to top off my NVQ work

and christmas i aint had time to do alot. well This is Chapter 15 for ya all it hasnt been Beta coz Alex as got alot on atm bless

her cottons, so dont slater me people! ill try and get another chapter up before Christmas but I aint gonna promise much :(

Anywaysss MERRY CHRISTMAS and enjoy some of are loveable and totally hot Dimitri

Disclaimer... sadly i only own Connor but my god hes hot! haha i just rememeber who i based Connor on..

lmao my partner...apart from my parter is 6ft and shaves his head and is only half irish.... lol

Anyways enough of hot tottie talk and ill leave ya to read Dimitri POV!

* * *

Dimitri's POV

I couldn't believe what I just witness. Guardian Petrov actually hugged Roza. So much as changed since I was last here and it felt wrong being here like this. I knew that one day I would have to see Roza again but not this soon. Its only been a few month's. Guardian Petrov actually looking after Roza was the most strangest thing I seen in the last few hours I've been back and Roza still looked completely breath taking as she always did even if it did look like she put on a few pounds. The look on her face while Guardian Petrov was talking to her worried me. She looked like death as come to visit her. Well in a way it has. She probably doesn't want to face me and she had every right. I still cant believe myself what I did to her. I cant believe I still left her here where some other man could take my position in her life.

With those last thoughts going through my head I stood out of the dark shadows I was hiding in when I saw further up my path that Roza and guardian Petrov was talking. Guardian Petrov was walking back this way and she would of saw me anyway but I couldn't face her not after that. so I quickly moved myself further down the path and pretended not to see her behind me.

"Dimitri wait up!" So I stop and put my guardian mask on and turned to face her.

"Hey guardian Petrov".

She laughed at that. "Dimitri stop calling me that you know I don't like it off people I consider as a friend. How are things?"

"Things are OK Alberta. How are you?"

"I'm good and by the way Rose is doing good and is still top of her class thanks to her new mentor."

Where the hell did that come from. "Oh right. Thanks for telling me." I said abit confused which she caught onto.

"Dimitri I knew you pair were close, well a lot closer then a teacher, student relationship. I had a feeling even before you left and when you left it confirmed everything I thought was right."

"Oh right. I don't know what to say Alberta." With that I started to walk away.

"It was hard on her Dimitri just please don't display you and Tasha around her. Please for me and for her."

This angered me more then anything she had no right to say that but im going to say this and regret it.

"I promise I wont guardian Petrov."

I was walking back to my room now with a lot more swirling around my head which was giving me a headache. How much did guardian Petrov actually knew and who else had these thoughts going on in there heads. This is way I left when I did I kept telling myself but I couldn't stop wondering what had made guardian Petrov think I was involved in Tasha more then business. Unless she was trying to protect Roza. Which was the only logical reason I could think of right now. Well at lest Roza had someone to look out for her, even if it wasn't me. I sighed heavily when I entered mine and Tasha's room only to want to walk right out again. I hadn't come up to are room when we landed because I needed to go somewhere by myself to think about everything. As soon as we landed the memories and emotions I had came back ten times as worse and even more so when I walked pasted the cabin. The normal set up for a guest room for a moroi was a two bedroom apartment but this wasn't one at all. I could see the open planed living room, diner and kitchen and only one bedroom door since all the apartments had en-suites. I couldn't believe she would still do this. I was expecting us to have the cabin's in the woods but she changed her mind once I told her everything about Roza but no she give me this set up. I did the only thing I've missed about the academy and made my way to the gym. It was better for me to hit a dummy then to let all my anger out at Tasha when I see her.

When I entered the gym someone else was already in there. So I just went to the changing rooms and quickly got changed. When I entered the gym again there was a man training on one of the dummies so I just left him to it and pulled down one of the dummies and went to town on it. I didn't know I was being watch until I stopped to have a drink. That man was staring at me like I was a totally nut case. Which to be honest is what I felt like right now.

"Hey, I'm guardian Jones and you are?"

"Guardian Belikov." There was a slight bit of shock in his eyes which he quickly covered up.

"Oh right cool, sorry about that then, I feel like a complete loser now. I use to idealise you before I graduated."

"Oh. when did you graduate?"

"Last year only got this post here a few months back after you left. So basically I took your place, which im sorry to say you are not having back." He said with a slight grin across his face.

God his Sarcasm reminded me so much of Roza, well I wouldn't be surprise if he took my post he would know Roza and she rubs off on everyone she meets.

I just laugh a little at his response. "So you liking it here then?"

"Yeah, as you will know im guarding the princess once she graduates and her other guardian to be Rose is truly amazing. I'm lucky to be training her and then working with her."

The look in his eyes told me more then I needed or even wanted to ever know or see in another man eyes. He had fallen for Roza just like I did but there was something else in the way he said that, that told me Rose put her foot down with him which made me feel all smug inside which I kept there.

"Yeah she was amazing to work with."

"So how come you left then, if you don't mind me asking."

"Well actually I do mind." He must of seen something in my eyes as jealousy was showing all over his face. Yep rose had turned him down.

"Your the reason she was completely broken when I first met her and the reason why she wouldn't give me a chance! I didn't believe her when she told me this has happen before but the look on your face has just prove what she said to me."

The next thing I knew I was pinned on the floor with him holding my arms and legs down and god he's stronger then I thought.

"That's the reason why I left. How could I protect the princess when we were being attacked when my heart would be screaming to protect her. Rose has done to you exactly what I should of done to her but I couldn't lose her then and I can't now!"

Guardian Jones let go of me and rolled onto the floor next to me. "I guess your right there guardian Belikov." Then he stood up said he was sorry for his reaction and walked off.

I just laid there thinking about what I just heard. Did rose actually liked this Jones person or was she letting him down lightly. I needed to know and I know she would be going the ball tonight looks like ill be in the shadows of this one.

I was walking behind the building where the shadows were. I wasn't in the mood to bump into people I didn't really want to see, like Tasha for one and Roza for another or maybe everyone that reminded me why the hell I left here in the first place.

"Hey Dimitri." i didn't even notice she was around, but She stood there next to me trying not to look at me but when I didn't look at her she carried on.

"So where is Tasha?"

"I don't know and to be honest I don't frankly care!"

"Oh, Ok I'll leave you too it, but I'm warning you, do not speak to Rose while you are staying with us. She as only just manage to get her life back on track and doesn't need it to be de-railed again!"

she just walked off and my mouth was hanging. Where the hell did that come from. I just mentally shook myself before I seen Guardian Jones running out of the moroi block with Roza hot on his trail. Guardian Jones was laughing while Roza was hurling abuse at him and asking for his phone. I quickly followed them onto the court yard and they was a group circling around them. This gave me the sense of Deja-vu which I didn't like and even more so when I seen Guardian Jones Pinning Roza to the floor and she used the exact same move on me when I did this during her Field exam. She grind herself against him and his eyed widen. Then she flipped him over and sat on him. She was sitting there with his phone in her hands with the biggest grin on her face as Guardian Petrov walked over to her smiling just as much.

"I see you can still take on your mentor, Rose?"

"Of course I can!" And with that she helped Guardian Jones up and they walked off laughing while my anger was bubbling up.

So she knew this Jones liked her and yet she still plays at it after letting him down. How the hell was I meant to take that! My head felt like it was going to exploded. I thought time away from Roza would help fade away my feeling for her, but they have only grew. How am I meant to leave her now! And what am I going to do when she moves to the court and that Jones being her 'partner' is going to enraged me even more. Why does this life have to be so hard and wrong. Why cant a Dhampir be with another one and why was it frown upto a male moroi being with a female Dhampir. This system is well and truly fucked up! I couldn't face walking to the ball now. I knew I probably see something that would completely set me off and I was pissed off enough. I went to the only place I knew I could let of steam without anyone looking at me stupid or like I losing my mine but god I felt like I was.


	16. Chapter 16

Hey all :D yeah another chapter for you all :D this is the only chapter ill be doing over Christmas because

im working all over Christmas and new year :( BOOOO!

but i do have 12 days off after that so ill be hammering them out then and I know you all will probs wanna throw

stuff at me for where im ending this chapter and probs how short it is! and yeah Im crap at detailing aswel so it could of been longer

but i couldnt wait till i got to the end of this chapter! its the turning point one =P

Ok people this one aint been beta either so ya gonna have to put up with my grammar and spelling mistakes lol

MERRY CHRISTMAS to all of you and have a good one. hope santa as brought you everything you wanted coz i know he did me.

he gave me him early :D

SO enjoy everyone and thank you sooo much for the reviews and reading this story for me :D you lot are truly amazing, so thank you again

Nadine -X-

* * *

Rose POV

We walked into the hall linking arms Connor owed me a lot now but at lest that video was deleted and would never be shown. The Hall was amazing! They lowered the chandelier's and lit them with silver candles. The drapes for the windows were deep purple to match the table cloths and each table had silver candle holders which had a tier effect and swirls. The tables were set in a way that half of the hall was a dance floor but they didn't have the flashing lights. The DJ was on the stage but you could only tell by the set up. Me, Lissa, Christian and Connor joined Eddy and his date on a table which turned out to be a blonde hair blue eyed Dhampir that was in the year below us. I was annoyed he kept this one a secret from me and I think he clocked me looking because he gave me a sorry look and carried on his conversation with her. I found out later on her name was Claire and she was pretty small for a dhampir, she must of only stood at 5ft.

We all got dragged onto the dance floor by the lovely Lissa who will be ranted at later for this. I wasn't in the mood to dance now. I've been really occupied with looking in the dark corners for Dimitri but I didn't see him anywhere and even Tasha walked in alone. Connor twirled me into his arms as a slow song came on.

"Do you know how beautiful you look tonight Rose?" He was looking into my eyes as he was saying it. All I could see was the admiration and it was a put off. How many times have I turned him down and I thought it would of sunk in by now but obviously it hasn't.

"Have you been drinking Connor?" I asked with a slight smile to mask the tension I knew that was slowly building up between us. Yeah I knew there is an attraction between us and it did go deeper then it should but I had to draw the line somewhere. We were going to be working with each other in a week and we could never get emotionally tied to each other. It was wrong and It wouldn't work.

"Maybe a few before we came and pick up you ladies. Can't you tell? Look at Christian he's way to confident."

I looked over at Lissa and Christian and yeah he was. He was all over Lissa and they never did PDA , NEVER! Lissa was looking like she felt out of place and she felt like it too as much as she loved the feeling of it aswel. It was making me feel sick. I hate this bond sometimes. I couldn't help but laugh though. I rested my head on Connor's shoulder ask he tighten his arms around me. Connor lent down and kissed my forehead.

"Do you know how amazing you are Rose? And how much I actually need you in my life?"

Wow where the hell did that come from? And why is he trying it again. I swear this boy as got more lives than a cat. I looked up at him and he was starring down at me. I didn't like what I saw. There was a sparkle in his eyes and also sadness. He knew what I was going to say but still needed to hear it. I couldn't do this to him again. We have gotten on really well since the last time this happen out by the lake.

"Connor we can't do this. Please never say that again to me. Please....." My words got cut off as he lips touch mine. I froze from the shock. We stood they for what felt like a long time before he pulled away and looked at me.

"I'm sorry Rose. I don't know why I did that. I'm Sorr..." I slapped him and ran off.

How could he do that and why did he do that. I just ran. Ran past everyone that was starring at us, at me. I could feel Lissa trying to talk to me but I blocked her out. I couldn't cope. I didn't need this. I never needed this. Needed everything that as happen to me. Dimitri, Adrian, the baby and now Connor. Why the hell was the world trying to punish me. What have I done wrong. I Ran to the only place I knew I could get rid of all my stress and frustration. It use to be the Lake or the woods but they both hold memories I didn't want to visit right now. I ran to the only other place I could just let loose and kick some shit out of something without getting dentition. What I wasn't prepared for was the view when I walked in the gym. I stop as soon as he came into my line of vision. My breathing almost stop and my heart was pumping harder and faster then it has ever done. The door slammed behind me and he turned around. He froze as soon as he seen me then that easy smile I've always loved spread across his face. He just continued starring at me but didn't move. I couldn't move. I was froze on the spot with silent tears falling down my face. Why cant I go no where without something or someone being there that I didn't want to see or be reminded of.

"Roza" was all he breathed.

* * *

told you all you are gonna wanna throw things at me :(

Im sorry but i had to get this chapter in and i know its small but it was needed to conclude this side of the story.

Please all review i love to hear what you think :D


	17. Chapter 17

Happy New Year Everyone! hope everyone enjoyed the holiday period!

well here is the chapter ya all been waiting for and ill say sorry now....

its not as long as i thought it was. im slowing getting writers block i can feel it!

hope you enjoy and i dont disappoint ya too much.

Nadine -x-

Disclaimer!! Connor is mine... this is all =]

and oh didnt have this one beta either so ill say my sorries now.

* * *

I Froze in place.

How after so long he could still affect me in this way. My body felt like it couldn't move or maybe it wouldn't. My whole body, mind and soul responded to him without me even thinking. My head was screaming to run but my soul was telling me to stay. God how I hated him for leaving me but god I was still in love with him. He was looking at me like I was the most precious thing in this world but there was already sadness in his eyes which was making my heart break. Being pregnant wasn't helping either. Bloody emotions being all over the place, i could feel a tear slide down my face. Dimitri didn't move any closer to me and I don't think ill be able to cope if he did. This dhampir, stole my heart, promised me the world and then threw it in my face to be with moroi. We stood like this for what seem like a life time, just starring at each other. Dimitri seemed to be battling with himself weather to come to me or just stay, me on the other hand still couldn't move and couldn't think straight. The man I was willing to give up everything for and carrying his child was infront of me. My body moved before I could think what I was about to do. I walked slowly over towards Dimitri and let a small smile play on my lips, to which Dimitri seemed surprised but happily returned the smile. The closer i got, he slowly opened his arms for me. I was only about an arms length away for him, when my arm automatically swung back and slapped him across the face. Before I turned around and ran for it. I quickly looked at Dimitri, they was shock written all over his face and surprise but also sadness playing in his eyes. What did he think I would do... Run straight into his arms and forgive him for everything! Nah I don't think so i am Rosemarie Hathaway, I don't crumble that easy and for what. He's got his life. He's got the chance to have a family and not be frown upon. I was running towards the only place I knew that i would be happy right now. I needed to get to the lake.

I arrived there without knowing my surrounding. Seeing Dimitri has coursed my body to move without thinking mainly because I was to busy thinking about him! I was sitting on my Rock before I knew it and looking out at the lake. Tonight was yet another full moon and it was glistening on the lake. Last time i was here on a full moon was when Connor turned up. I breathe out a breath i didn't realising i was holding and tried to gather myself. How could he think i would walk into his arms. Bloody men! I swear i have had enough of them. My mind was working over time and I was starring at the lake letting my mind do whatever it wanted, when I heard a snap of a branch from behind me. I quickly snapped out of whatever I was doing because to be fair I didn't know what i was doing and looked behind me. I wish i never. God does everyone know this is my hiding spot. I must of said this out loud because the shadow of a tall muscled figure answered me.

"Well, Obviously not as it has took me two hours to find you!" I would know that voice anywhere and i cant believe it still made me tingle all over like the first time.

"Well Obviously its still not a good enough to hide from you! I snapped back. I stood up to face Dimitri. Yeah i guess it was time to get this over with. He was leaving in a weeks time with Tasha and hopefully I wont see him again.

Dimitri tried to hide a smile but couldn't. He loved my stubbornness as much as my wit.

"Roza, you could never hide from me. Ill always find you." he was slowly walking towards me as he said this. I couldn't let him come any closer, so I turned my back on him and changed the subject.

"So how are you and Tasha? Any signs of having a child yet?"

I looked over my shoulder just in time to see the anger bubbling in his eyes but he left his face blank and walked towards me.

"Roza, why would I have children with someone i don't love or even see myself loving, when I'm still..." I turned around to look at him. I looked up at him to see the tears bubbling over his eyelids. He looked down at me and I automatically wiped the tears away. I looked down at my hand and realised what I just did. I cant let him back into my life like this or ever! He left me for Christ sakes and I'm certainly going to let him back in this easily.

"I'm sorry." Was all i could breath out before running away, leaving a stunned Dimitri behind me.


End file.
